Mothering Fail

GT asked me if I was going to post this and I guess I have to since it is not my first mothering fail but the first to draw blood. I had T on the dining room table and was showing off how good he can sit up on his own. What a big boy! When he fell forward face first into his bouncy seat and started crying hysterically. I picked him up and looked at him and he looked fine and stopped crying pretty quickly. A few minutes later he was sitting in GT's lap and being pretty happy and that is when I noticed the small trickle of blood coming out of his nose. We wiped up the blood and pressed on his nose and it didn't seem to bother him so I don't think it was really hurt. I felt enormously guilty all night. In fact I convinced myself that he had a concussion even though he hit his nose not his head.

The reason I convinced myself, in all my first mother paranoia, is because T slept. We have been doing Ferber for 5 days and the 4th night was the worst of all. T cried for almost 2 hours and so did I. Last night, however, he went to sleep without a peep and slept through his 10:00 feed all the way to 12:00.I woke up at 11:45 convinced that my baby was A) dead B) passed out from his concussion or the least plausible C) Ferber was beginning to work. Last night was not without some crying but he seemed to be making some progress. We have eliminated the pacifier from T's life almost entirely. It is now for emergency back up situations only and never to go in the crib with him. I know I posted that we were doing this a while back but parenthood is filled with good intentions. Last time when I tried to take the pacifier away at naptime T cried for over an hour and I eventually gave in. This time it was much easier. I think he was more ready to fall asleep on his own.

Also T has found his feet. I took some especially embarrassing pics of him without a diaper on because that is when he is most limber. I'll try to post the PG version here. He also has started to babble a lot more and is putting vowels and consonants together such as baba and dada. I am so proud.

Solids

Another tip the clinic gave us was to start him on solids. I had been waiting because he is my baby and it is hard for me to believe that my baby is old enough to eat solid foods (or semi-solid in the case of baby food). We gave him oatmeal to start with and he seemed to really like it. He thought it tasted interesting and the spoon was especially fun. The first 2-3 days he was really into it and since then hasn't been as interested. We tried green beans last night and he didn't really think that was great. I think we may take a break and try again later. It is supposed to be fun for him and I don't want to force the issue. The spoon continues to be the best part of the whole thing for him. He grabs onto it and shoves it into his mouth with pretty good accuracy.

Sleep, Sleep, Sleep

After a particularly terrible night of sleep a week back I decided it might be time to take action. I had read about the infant colic, sleep, and behavior clinic at Brown University and thought that maybe they had some insight into our sleep problems. My problems with T's sleep are twofold. One he wants to eat at night every 2-3 hours just like in the daytime. With him approaching 15lbs I know he can go a little bit longer. In addition even when he is not hungry he wakes often, sometimes every hour. He can cry for long periods and the only thing that stops him is giving him a pacifier. His sleep problems are especially confusing for me since I have tried everything that the books suggest, except using Ferber. He goes down for all 3 of his naps and bedtime fully awake in his crib and falls asleep on his own. It is wonderful. He knows how to put himself to sleep and has for over a month. I keep asking why he can't put himself back to sleep in the night once he wakes up.
So I called the clinic. They got me an appointment within the week. We went Friday the 5th. They gave us a log to record when he was crying, fussing, eating, or sleeping. We recorded this for 3 days. In the end we found that T still crys and fusses enough to be considered a "colicky baby" and that between the hours of 10pm and 6:30am we were getting up to give him the pacifier or feed him between 8-10times. The longest stretch of sleep we got in a row was 2 hours and that was only maybe once during the night. I felt validated that I truly should be tired. Poor GT, he never gets to even take a nap.
We went back for our second appointment on Monday the 8th. They had some suggestions but seemed as stumped as we were as to why our baby can fall asleep himself but can't put himself back to sleep. They hypothesized that he is getting too much to eat at night and therefore is not eating enough during the day causing a cycle of night hunger. They suggested I shorten my nursing sessions at night to create more hunger during the day. They also suggested that we stop swaddling him so that he can use his fingers for soothing rather then his pacifier. They also suggested starting him on solids to give him some extra calories. We've been trying this plan for three days now. We saw improvement the second night but last night was a dismal failure. He cried and cried and cried last night. Finally at 4:30 I was so tired I gave up and let him nurse as long as he wanted. He slept until 7:00 this morning (late for him) and was ready to go back to bed at 8:00. He is one tired baby. I hope we see some improvement soon. We have another appointment to go back and re-evaluate in 2 weeks. I just want 6 hours in a row please. How do you reason with a 5 month old?

Baby milestones

My baby will be 5 months in less then a week! Along with getting older he is gaining so much in his development. On 3/4 he rolled over from his back to his front. Once he got there however, he was very unhappy and asked to be rolled over again. He can go from his tummy to his back but he finds it hard and would rather if I just did it for him. Some days I will place him on his tummy and let him cry until he figures it out (Please don't call DCYF). He is super active. He will kick his legs into the air and propel himself sideways. He sometimes will do this to get something he wants or just because he feels like moving. Did I mention that my baby loves to move? He is always on the go. I look on at other babies who cuddle quietly with their mothers with envy. My baby cannot sit still. When he is in my arms he wants to stand up, look around, and grab anything that isn't nailed down (and some things that are, especially my hair). He is also really starting to like our story time. He sits quietly, looks at the book, and then tries to stuff it into his mouth. He is starting to reach for things and getting really mad if they are either out of his reach or not for him (like my coffee cup). He is also starting to look for his toys when they fall out of his range of vision and he can be hard to distract. Object permanence here we come. Something I am not looking forward to.
I took a temperament test online that tells you what kind of issues you are likely to have based on your child's temperament. T scored high in almost all categories which means he is reactive, sensitive, active, and slow to adjust. The questionnaire indicated that babies with similar temperaments to his have difficulty in the coming months with sitting still to be changed, dressed, and bathed. They also indicated that he will be a fearless practicer, which means he will stand up over and over again even if he falls every time, that he will constantly test limits, and that he will tease us. This all sounds about right.
When my mother visited us a month ago she told me that she thought T had "locked in baby" syndrome. He really wants his body to move in a specific way but doesn't have enough control to do it yet and it makes him really mad. He constantly looks like he wants to crawl but just doesn't have the muscle coordination to do it. He is starting to be able to sit up with support but would rather be on the floor rolling all over the place. His father, GT, apparently never crawled but rather rolled everywhere he wanted to go. We will see how his son compares.
I think we are starting to have a real baby and not just a bundle of reflexes. Fun baby times ahead.