Top teeth are here

So T's top teeth appeared this week. I first noticed it on Monday but it may have popped over the weekend. He has been a little fussy/clingy for the past week so I know it may have been bothering him.
He is saying Mama a lot more recently and constantly mimicking us which is hilarious. He has about four tricks that GT and I find really cute. First he kisses. He kisses all the time and knows it gets our attention. We love it. I think we overwhelmed him with so many kisses this year that he thinks that is just another word in our vocabulary. Sometimes T goes up to strangers and gives them kisses. It is very cute. Second T will look away for a second and close his eyes and then look back at you for a game of peek-a-boo. He does peek-a-boo with the shower curtain and other things as well. Third he will look at you and then close his eyes tight and then open again. It is really funny. Finally he will wave. He did all of these things in succession this morning when GT went to get him out of bed. I think he knows these are all cute tricks.
He has also started to let me know that he is not happy when I go to work. He will lift up his arms and whine a little when I try to leave. It is sad but also nice to know that I am his favorite. This can be good or bad however. Sometimes when I am home alone with him all he wants me to do is hold him and carry him around everywhere I go. He is also scared of the vacuum which means I have to carry him in one arm and push with the other. I don't mind that much because I love to cuddle my monkey. I try to remind myself that eventually he won't want to cuddle and so I should savor those moments now. He recently started to love to cuddle right before bed while I read him a story. Instead of grabbing the book and trying to eat it. He listens to the story and looks at the pictures in the book all while cuddling me and sucking on his lovey. I think he likes this little wind down routine. The other night GT tried to put him to bed while I was in the next room. GT put him down in his crib and he got right up and started crying. I went in there read him a short story, cuddled him for a minute and then put him down and he went right to sleep. It is nice to know that babies love their mommies.

So much not blogged about

I know I have few readers at this point (it has been 5 months since I blogged!) but I wanted to write down a few things that have happened in T's development. I keep saying that the 1st 6 months are for growing and the next 6 months are about development. After a sad few months of severe sleep deprivation we went to the Dr. who told me to try some formula. Something I had been contemplating for a few weeks but was reluctant to do because I was worried about my supply. This visit alleviated some concerns because the Dr. felt my supply may be poor anyway due to my sleep deprivation. We started T on formula that night. It helped some and he seemed to sleep a little better every night after that. After about a month we switched to Earth's Best Organic Formula and that was the first night ever that T slept through the night. There is definitely something to formula keeping baby's tummy's full. I also went back to work so T was getting more and more bottles. My supply was dwindling due to all the pumping and eventually I decided to feed him formula during the day and breastfeed him while we were together. T decided he liked bottles more than breastfeeding so I stopped breastfeeding during the day and only continued at night. Then he started to bite me in the middle of the night. I am sure he bits his bottles but they don't shout. He got really upset at night after I yelled in pain after he bit me. That eventually ended our breastfeeding relationship. I know T basically weaned himself. He wasn't that interested in breastfeeding by the end. Bottles were much easier for him and he probably got more to eat since he could stop drinking when distracted and then go back for more. I was also able to tell how much he was eating which made me happy. Some days I am sad that we ended this relationship so early and other parts of me are happier. GT and I can switch off night feedings, I don't have to worry about always being home for him to eat, I can always tell how much he is getting, and he seems to be happy. When we went to his 9 month appointment he had fallen off his growth curve into the 8th percentile for weight (although 93rd for height)and I didn't have to beat myself up because I didn't think I wasn't producing enough milk. Some days I look at my breastfeeding friends and I get a little sad and envy their relationship with their babies. I once told this to one of my mom friends and she said "but you are both so much happier now." I think about that whenever I get a little sad because it is true. We are both so much happier and it is obvious to all of those people around us. We have a better relationship now then we did when we were all sleep deprived and stressed.

So trying to remember T's firsts so that I can have a record of them!
First tooth-popped a few days before his 6 month b-day
Second tooth appeared approximately one month later
Top teeth are almost here.

Sitting without support- he could sit a little by 6.5 months but really got the hang of it by 7 months
Pulling up-8 months. He would stand almost all of his waking hours and play on his musical table
Cruising-8 months. He loved to walk on the edges of the couch.
Crawling-9 months. I never thought he would crawl. He had all the skills he needed to crawl but would just cry when he ended up on his tummy. He ended up going to his babysitters house on 7/19/10 because we were having the windows in our house replaced. He came home that night and GT and I both saw him move one knee in front of the other while on his belly. While T had been at his babysitters her baby (who is 3 days younger and had been crawling for a couple of months)was crawling all over the house. T must have watched him and figured out what needed to be done. This is similar to what happened when his older cousin came to visit in June. T watched Toby walk around and stand up and by the time they left that was all he wanted to do. Babies do learn by observation. It is pretty neat to watch.

Right after T learned to crawl we went to Alabama. He met many many new people and was held by a lot of strangers. For the first time T became very clingy. He also said Mama for the first time. When he was stressed he would crawl towards me going Ma ma ma ma ma or if I was in the room and someone else was holding him he would do the same thing. It was nice to hear him say my name! Since we have returned he has not said Mama again! At least I know he can say it though!

Unfortunately T still has some noise sensitivity issues. He definitely doesn't like other babies to cry or shout. It upsets him and he will begin to cry. He doesn't like loud noises (even the kind he makes on his own). He doesn't really like to bang spoons and pots and pans which I have seen plenty of other babies his age do. When other baby's cry or make a lot of noise he always looks to me for assurance and if he is really tired or it is really loud he cries. It can be difficult sometimes but it just clues me into T's personality. I think he is a sensitive little guy who is going to grow up into a caring empathetic person. He seems tuned into others. I have to remember this when I get frustrated or stressed! He definitely picks up on these vibes and reacts. When I am happy and excited he also seems to pick up on this. It has been exciting to see his little personality emerge.

There is so much that I want to remember from this first year (and it has almost been one whole year!) and I am sad that I didn't write much of it down (which was the whole point of this blog) but I am glad that I could at least get some of it down. Already I have forgotten so much about what happened those first few months. GT likes to remind me. I am having so much fun being a mom. While it is probably the hardest job I have ever done I am probably happier overall then I have ever been and that is all that matters.

What haven't we tried

Below is the document that we decided to make in order to be prepared for T's 6 month doctor's appt. on Friday. It is seriously depressing. Mr. T. tricks us every time. Last night we went in there because he was crying and he appeared to be entirely asleep. It was a little creepy.

Sleep Notes

What we have tried:

Early bedtimes
Falling asleep on own for naps and bedtime (he does this)

Feed-on-demand
Dream feed
Eliminating feeding (one of three)
Not feeding close to sleep times
Bottle at first feeding of the night (both parents)
Starting solid food
Water
Reducing milk volume at night
Feeding frequently during the day

Controlled crying
Rocking
Comforting in crib
Having father comfort only

White noise
Music
Regulating temperature
Transitional object
Comfortable bedding

Pacifier
Swaddle (tried on and off)

Inclined Crib
Co-sleeping
Prilosec at 10PM


Consistent naps (Three consistent, consolidated naps daily)

Prayer
Magical Thinking
Alcohol (father, not child or mother)
Crying and Cursing


Current Routine (always the same):

6:30pm: Bath
7:00pm: Breastfeed
7:10pm: Story
7:15pm: Put in crib drowsy but awake

When did this happen?

As much as I try to chronicle my baby's milestones things happen so gradually that I seem to miss them until they are either totally gone or fully developed for days or weeks. Obviously they aren't incredible milestones like crawling or sitting up without support but they are important because they mean my baby is growing and developing. I've begun to notice over the past week or so (and who knows how long this has been going on) that my baby understands that when he shakes a rattle it makes noise and he does it on purpose. That is an understanding of cause and effect which can be generalized to so many other areas of life including night time i.e when I cry they come and give me food.

But there are so many other little things that I will never be able to chronicle because it is just my baby opening his senses to the world. For example he loves to have bare feet rub against the stroller, the carpet, anything really. He has learned that sleeping on his side is the most comfortable, that lunging toward Mama with an open mouth and outstretched arms means "I love you" (well at least that is my interpretation. He anticipates my actions and gets excited when I blow raspberries on his tummy. He notices things around him and lunges for them including my cell phone, computer, TV remote, the box on our mantel, and his humidifier.

I really want to chronicle everything but it is hard when you live with a baby everyday to notice these small changes. When I look back at the end of this year I hope I can remember what an amazing transformation it has been.

Mothering Fail

GT asked me if I was going to post this and I guess I have to since it is not my first mothering fail but the first to draw blood. I had T on the dining room table and was showing off how good he can sit up on his own. What a big boy! When he fell forward face first into his bouncy seat and started crying hysterically. I picked him up and looked at him and he looked fine and stopped crying pretty quickly. A few minutes later he was sitting in GT's lap and being pretty happy and that is when I noticed the small trickle of blood coming out of his nose. We wiped up the blood and pressed on his nose and it didn't seem to bother him so I don't think it was really hurt. I felt enormously guilty all night. In fact I convinced myself that he had a concussion even though he hit his nose not his head.

The reason I convinced myself, in all my first mother paranoia, is because T slept. We have been doing Ferber for 5 days and the 4th night was the worst of all. T cried for almost 2 hours and so did I. Last night, however, he went to sleep without a peep and slept through his 10:00 feed all the way to 12:00.I woke up at 11:45 convinced that my baby was A) dead B) passed out from his concussion or the least plausible C) Ferber was beginning to work. Last night was not without some crying but he seemed to be making some progress. We have eliminated the pacifier from T's life almost entirely. It is now for emergency back up situations only and never to go in the crib with him. I know I posted that we were doing this a while back but parenthood is filled with good intentions. Last time when I tried to take the pacifier away at naptime T cried for over an hour and I eventually gave in. This time it was much easier. I think he was more ready to fall asleep on his own.

Also T has found his feet. I took some especially embarrassing pics of him without a diaper on because that is when he is most limber. I'll try to post the PG version here. He also has started to babble a lot more and is putting vowels and consonants together such as baba and dada. I am so proud.

Solids

Another tip the clinic gave us was to start him on solids. I had been waiting because he is my baby and it is hard for me to believe that my baby is old enough to eat solid foods (or semi-solid in the case of baby food). We gave him oatmeal to start with and he seemed to really like it. He thought it tasted interesting and the spoon was especially fun. The first 2-3 days he was really into it and since then hasn't been as interested. We tried green beans last night and he didn't really think that was great. I think we may take a break and try again later. It is supposed to be fun for him and I don't want to force the issue. The spoon continues to be the best part of the whole thing for him. He grabs onto it and shoves it into his mouth with pretty good accuracy.

Sleep, Sleep, Sleep

After a particularly terrible night of sleep a week back I decided it might be time to take action. I had read about the infant colic, sleep, and behavior clinic at Brown University and thought that maybe they had some insight into our sleep problems. My problems with T's sleep are twofold. One he wants to eat at night every 2-3 hours just like in the daytime. With him approaching 15lbs I know he can go a little bit longer. In addition even when he is not hungry he wakes often, sometimes every hour. He can cry for long periods and the only thing that stops him is giving him a pacifier. His sleep problems are especially confusing for me since I have tried everything that the books suggest, except using Ferber. He goes down for all 3 of his naps and bedtime fully awake in his crib and falls asleep on his own. It is wonderful. He knows how to put himself to sleep and has for over a month. I keep asking why he can't put himself back to sleep in the night once he wakes up.
So I called the clinic. They got me an appointment within the week. We went Friday the 5th. They gave us a log to record when he was crying, fussing, eating, or sleeping. We recorded this for 3 days. In the end we found that T still crys and fusses enough to be considered a "colicky baby" and that between the hours of 10pm and 6:30am we were getting up to give him the pacifier or feed him between 8-10times. The longest stretch of sleep we got in a row was 2 hours and that was only maybe once during the night. I felt validated that I truly should be tired. Poor GT, he never gets to even take a nap.
We went back for our second appointment on Monday the 8th. They had some suggestions but seemed as stumped as we were as to why our baby can fall asleep himself but can't put himself back to sleep. They hypothesized that he is getting too much to eat at night and therefore is not eating enough during the day causing a cycle of night hunger. They suggested I shorten my nursing sessions at night to create more hunger during the day. They also suggested that we stop swaddling him so that he can use his fingers for soothing rather then his pacifier. They also suggested starting him on solids to give him some extra calories. We've been trying this plan for three days now. We saw improvement the second night but last night was a dismal failure. He cried and cried and cried last night. Finally at 4:30 I was so tired I gave up and let him nurse as long as he wanted. He slept until 7:00 this morning (late for him) and was ready to go back to bed at 8:00. He is one tired baby. I hope we see some improvement soon. We have another appointment to go back and re-evaluate in 2 weeks. I just want 6 hours in a row please. How do you reason with a 5 month old?